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Kelty Encourages Purchase of Book for Hurricane Victims


November 22, 2018

Dear Editor,

First I would like to express my disappointment regarding the cashier at a local grocery store the other day. You see I was buying a box of shredded wheat cereal and she did not even bother to check my ID! I let her know that the person in the WH says that we need to show ID to buy a box of why was she not asking for my ID?! I mean what is this country coming to?! People just running around buying cereal willy nilly with no proper identification! How appalling.

Well, enough satire on that subject. I really want to share with your readers the contents of a new book that is now out entitled Whose Boat Is This Boat, Comments That Don’t Help in the Aftermath of a Hurricane. By Donald J. Trump (by accident). When natural disasters happen, presidents respond in different ways. Some presidents wonder how they and their administration can help. Some presidents wonder how to make sure it never happens again. Our current president wonders whose boat that is. The book is comprised solely of comments spoken by President Donald J. Trump in the wake of Hurricane Florence on September 19, 2018, in New Bern, North Carolina. President Trump, as he is walking about surveying the horrific damage caused by the hurricane, came upon a boat sitting up on land. Local folks were present as well as some media covering his visit. The following is exact verbiage that was expressed during the encounter:

Trump: “Is this your boat, Or...did it become your boat?” He asked a couple standing nearby.

Trump: “That boat is wiped out...or not?”

Trump: “Wouldn’t want to cross the ocean in it.”

Trump: “And do you know whose boat that is?”

Reporters: “They don’t know whose boat that is.”

Trump: “To see what we’re seeing--this boat, I don’t know what happened, but this boat just came here.”

Trump: “At least you got a nice boat out of the deal.” Thump up, “Have a good time!”

The End (There is no moral.)

I strongly encourage everyone to purchase this book as 100% of the proceeds from this book {which was assembled by the staff of the Late Show with Stephen Colbert} will go to the Foundation for the Carolinas, The One SC Fund, The North Carolina Disaster Relief Fund and the World Central Kitchen. Even though the supposed leader of our country has grey matter in his head that is mainly boiled oatmeal, YOU can do something positive to help our neighbors in these hurricane ravaged areas.

Shoot! Unloading my groceries I see I forgot to get oatmeal! Well, it’s time to go change my clothes and put on a different hat and sneak back into the grocery store and attempt a SECOND cereal purchase. Thoughts and prayers that I am successful!

Jeanette Kelty,



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